The End

My mom passed away at 4:30a on November 7th. I wanted to be there, but I wasn’t. I had gone home. I just really hope that she knew she was loved at the end. I hope she wasn’t scared or in pain. I’m sure she spent much of her life feeling unwanted and unloved. My sister and her hadn’t spoken in 2 years. All of us had attitude problems with her. But my sister got here before she was gone and they made their peace. My mom had written her a letter, explaining a lot of things and acknowledging a lot of things. She was unresponsive at the time my sister was there, but there were a few moments where she was coherent enough to say she loved us. The day we moved her into the nursing home she was the most alert she had been in a while. She was crying, which got me crying. I apologized and told her that I was sorry and that I knew it wasn’t what she wanted. She told me that I had nothing to be sorry for… but I’m still sorry. She was only 58. Cancer sucks. That’s all I can say.